18. mars – En kjærlighetshistorie

I et veldig svakt øyeblikk nå registrerte jeg meg på match.com. Jeg vet ikke hvor mange ganger jeg har lovet meg selv å ikke kaste bort min egen og andres tid på nytt. Men jeg holder på å bli koko i koronabobla. Kanskje en distraksjon kunne gjøre susen? Men, nei. Jeg sletta meg igjen før jeg hadde fullført profilen. Er ikke glad i å chatte en gang, kan ikke treffe noen, hva er vitsen. Bedre å bla i gamle skriblerier. Mimre over den store kjærligheten jeg tross alt har opplevd. Eller enda bedre, se LUTHER sesong 1-5 på Netflix igjen. Ja, sånn blir det. Tøffe komplekse typer får holde seg på skjermen.

Du sier at:

 Jeg snakker som om vi er i militæret
 Jeg tenker bare på meg selv
 Jeg bryr meg ikke om dine følelser
 Jeg får deg til å føle deg som et dårlig menneske
 Jeg skal alltid ha rett
 Jeg hører dårlig 
(for du må si de samme tingene igjen og igjen)
 Eller kanskje er jeg bare dum
 Jeg lager problemer ut av ingenting
 Jeg dømmer 
 Jeg er naiv
 Jeg forstår deg ikke
 Jeg irriterer meg over alt du gjør
 Jeg elsker deg ikke
 Jeg avviser deg hele tiden
 Det går ikke an å kommunisere med meg
 Og jeg aner ikke hvor vondt du har det
 Jeg prøver aldri å støtte deg
 Eller hvis jeg støtter deg, så er det bare tomme ord
 For jeg mener det egentlig ikke
 Ordene mine betyr ingenting, 
for du vet hva jeg egentlig føler
 Jeg har aldri virkelig prøvd
 Jeg prøver bare å finne unnskyldninger
 Jeg behandler deg som et barn
 Eller som en som sitter i avhør i retten
 Jeg vil leve livet etter en oppskrift
 Jeg blir aldri fornøyd, uansett
 Jeg skriker til deg 
 Jeg beskylder deg for å ljuge 
 Jeg sier sårende ting til deg nesten hele tiden
 Jeg sier aldri noe positivt
 Jeg ser ikke alt du gjør for meg
 Jeg ser ikke hvordan du har forandret alt med deg for meg
 Jeg er egentlig veldig sjalu, jeg bare later som noe annet
 Jeg tror jeg er så innmari mye smartere enn deg
 Jeg bryr meg ikke om at du er sliten 
 Jeg er ikke ærlig
 Jeg klager så mye
 Jeg respekterer deg ikke
 ***

Men det skal jeg ikke ta så tungt
For du elsker meg

Og syns jeg er best i hele verden

Love the Way You Lie – Eminem

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lieI can’t tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there’s a steel knife, in my windpipe
I can’t breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight
As long as the wrong feels right, it’s like I’m in flight
High off of love drunk from my hate
It’s like I’m huffing paint and I love her the more I suffer
I suffocate and right before I’m about to drown
She resuscitates me, she fucking hates me
And I love it, wait
Where you going? I’m leaving you
No you ain’t, come back
We’re running right back, here we go again
It’s so insane ’cause when it’s going good, it’s going great
I’m Superman, with the wind at his back, she’s Lois Lane
But when it’s bad, it’s awful
I feel so ashamed, I snapped, who’s that dude?
I don’t even know his name, I laid hands on her
I’ll never stoop so low again, I guess I don’t know my own strength

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
Well that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
Well that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

You ever love somebody so much
You can barely breathe, when you’re with them, you meet
And neither one of you, even know what hit ’em
Got that warm fuzzy feeling, yeah them chills, used to get ’em
Now you’re getting fucking sick, of looking at ’em
You swore you’ve never hit ’em, never do nothing to hurt ’em
Now you’re in each other’s face,
Spewing venom in your words, when you spit ’em
You push, pull each other’s hair, scratch, claw, bit ’em
Throw ’em down, pin ’em, so lost in the moments, when you’re in ’em
It’s the rage that took over it controls you both
So they say it’s best, to go your separate ways
Guess that they don’t know ya ’cause today, that was yesterday
Yesterday is over, it’s a different day
Sound like broken records, playin’ over, but you promised her
Next time you’ll show restraint
You don’t get another chance
Life is no Nintendo game, but you lied again
Now you get to watch her leave
Out the window, guess that’s why they call it window pane

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

Now I know we said things, did things
That we didn’t mean and we fall back into the same patterns
Same routine, but your temper’s just as bad, as mine is
You’re the same as me, when it comes to love, you’re just as blinded
Baby please come back, it wasn’t you
Baby it was me, maybe our relationship isn’t as crazy as it seems
Maybe that’s what happens When a tornado meets a volcano
All I know is I love you too much, to walk away now
Come inside, pick up your bags off the sidewalk
Don’t you hear sincerity, in my voice when I talk?
Told you this is my fault, look me in the eyeball
Next time I’m pissed, I’ll aim my fist at the dry wall
Next time, there will be no next time
I apologize even though I know it’s lies
I’m tired of the games, I just want her back, I know I’m a liar
If she ever tries to fucking leave again
I’m a tie her to the bed and set this house on fire

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn
But that’s alright, because I like the way it hurts
Just gonna stand there and hear me cry
But that’s alright, because I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie
I love the way you lie

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